i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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