foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
