And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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