I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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