Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
