What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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