i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
