She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
