i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
