I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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