I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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