i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
