At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
