Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
