I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
