Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
