Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
