Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize