I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize