He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
