And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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