if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude i'm inner monologue high
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
