More tranny stories later!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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