u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize