rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize