So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
