I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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