alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize