Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
