Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
