If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
