What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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