margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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