so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
