Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Found the puke drawer
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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