I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
