are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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