She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
