Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize