I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
