try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
