is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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