I cockslap morals
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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