im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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