I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
