Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
