I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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