I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
