i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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