I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
