4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
