you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
