worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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