How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
