I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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