Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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