Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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