This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
