Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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