i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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