Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No subtext here. People are naked.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
