The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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